My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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