I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
