problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
