You're my little dorito
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
