Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
