I think i sorta joined a cult last night
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
