i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
