I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
