No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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