I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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