sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
