I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
