Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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