Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Buhtt sex?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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