Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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