Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
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He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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