yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
