Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you win again, gameday.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
