New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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