You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
