I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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