I think I died a long time ago.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
