Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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