Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
