I looked at my own cervix.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.