its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...