Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?

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  (810): Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"? http://tfl.nu/nq90
  Replies (2) Good night (780) Bad night (1162)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....

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  (205): woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers (1-205): yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness.... http://tfl.nu/wnn7
  Replies (62) Good night (10826) Bad night (958)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads

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  (504): so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads http://tfl.nu/yn7g
  Replies (24) Good night (739) Bad night (7163)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?

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  (812): Have you seen my high heels that I wore out? (1-812): You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/rqvo
  Replies (15) Good night (7529) Bad night (1105)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.

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  (910): He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn. http://tfl.nu/hrhg
  Replies (18) Good night (8499) Bad night (1199)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.

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  (734): I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady. http://tfl.nu/nlis
  Replies (8) Good night (4096) Bad night (1162)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"

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  (541): It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday" http://tfl.nu/cbpt
  Replies (4) Good night (2428) Bad night (832)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

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  (770): you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why. (678): THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. http://tfl.nu/cex4
  Replies (18) Good night (3151) Bad night (863)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners

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  (551): Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners http://tfl.nu/77j3
  Replies (4) Good night (1594) Bad night (564)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.

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  (715): At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves. http://tfl.nu/lin3
  Replies (3) Good night (477) Bad night (798)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?

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  (314): Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave? http://tfl.nu/zqej
  Replies (3) Good night (715) Bad night (296)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.

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  (907): Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly. http://tfl.nu/v6o5
  Replies (1) Good night (383) Bad night (757)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower

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  (416): No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower http://tfl.nu/t3qe
  Replies (0) Good night (732) Bad night (390)
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.

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  (408): I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories. http://tfl.nu/8r9f
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (259)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE

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  (801): LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE http://tfl.nu/yx8o
  Replies (3) Good night (277) Bad night (207)

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