Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.

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  (217): My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building. http://tfl.nu/he38
  Replies (5) Good night (1098) Bad night (2061)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.

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  (814): I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible. http://tfl.nu/rjoz
  Replies (26) Good night (1563) Bad night (3191)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.

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  (434): Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/fvia
  Replies (9) Good night (3290) Bad night (975)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.

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  (419): I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief. http://tfl.nu/du8g
  Replies (17) Good night (1077) Bad night (3431)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad

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  (201): he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad http://tfl.nu/jzas
  Replies (40) Good night (806) Bad night (4344)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.

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  (305): She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself. http://tfl.nu/c54w
  Replies (57) Good night (949) Bad night (5536)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?

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  (804): Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days? http://tfl.nu/vlwi
  Replies (7) Good night (3258) Bad night (790)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."

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  (859): I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny." http://tfl.nu/6v00
  Replies (8) Good night (1177) Bad night (6115)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  wtf

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  (973): yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina (1-973): wtf http://tfl.nu/idhw
  Replies (18) Good night (1462) Bad night (5461)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I drank myself into bisexuality again.

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  (314): I drank myself into bisexuality again. http://tfl.nu/eg45
  Replies (16) Good night (6244) Bad night (1306)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking

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  (303): It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking http://tfl.nu/y5lt
  Replies (10) Good night (2844) Bad night (935)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.

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  (479): I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital. http://tfl.nu/6mwi
  Replies (1) Good night (774) Bad night (366)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms

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  (314): Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms http://tfl.nu/dq92
  Replies (2) Good night (650) Bad night (305)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?

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  (720): Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet? http://tfl.nu/zkp2
  Replies (6) Good night (422) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I

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  (434): Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I http://tfl.nu/vnpp
  Replies (6) Good night (423) Bad night (208)

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