why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
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My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
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Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.