hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize