I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
