i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Swine flu is the new snow day.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
