How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize