i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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