So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
