Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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