im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
