I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
