At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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