You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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