she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize