I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
