Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
