Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
