Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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