It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize