3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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