if you like me you must not know who I am
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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