You're so nebulous sometimes
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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