i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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