How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
