My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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