you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
