Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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