Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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