And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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