Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
