I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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