why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
