i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
