Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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