she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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