i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
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I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
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Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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