just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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