when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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