last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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