Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think your dad took our porno
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
