He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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