He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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